Living With A Difficult Husband

Poster Child for “Living with a difficult Husband who is crazy fun” Just for the record that is NOT a stain on his shirt but a rain drop. It was raining that day. 

Not everyone has the perfect husband. What’s that you say? You know! You say you’re living with a difficult husband? Now I want you to understand the difference between a difficult husband and a DIFFICULT husband!

While having a discussion with your husband, you are telling him something SO heartfelt. Does he stop you and say “I could really care less about what you are saying”?  Sometimes that happens to me. I would say that is a difficult husband.

In “my former life as a wife” aka my last marriage there were unspeakable things that happened. One evening my 4 little children and I returned home to find our other vehicle parked in the middle of the yard packed with weird junk and a cross on the steering wheel and no driver. After putting the children to bed “he” made an appearance on the back porch fully visible through my sliding glass doors wild eyed, dirty and crazy on drugs. I was scared out of my whits. I will spare you every minute of this tragic story but there were knives held to throats, followed by wild police searches through the house and yard then 10 minutes after his arrest constant calling on the phone. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN WHEN HE IS IN POLICE CUSTODY?!?! This, I would say, is a DIFFICULT husband and I wished I could say that was the only situation and that it had ended there.

What is my BIG secret for surviving a DIFFICULT husband? As a wife, thankfully we have the best resources available to us for comfort, advice and real life experiences…Each other! It is important we share with our closest girlfriends, mothers, sisters (NOT YOUR CO-WORKERS OR CASUAL FRIENDS) and ask their advice, listen to their aspect of the situation, how do they do it? Not every woman is as wonderful as a wife as you are so beware that not all advice is good advice.

Okay…This is even more of a Secret…Your Father! He is also the BEST resource for advice on certain situations. Don’t go asking him about “Date Night” because he will run from the house screaming….Sorry that I know this from personal experience. Sorry Daddy!

I want to tell you something that is going to FREAK out the most respectful Mothers and Grandmothers. Now keep an open mind here….DO NOT, for one second, think that you are doing your children or even yourself a service by staying with a DIFFICULT husband. When I lived in the situation I did, with my precious little children, I stayed because I thought it was the right thing. I didn’t want my children to think parents are disposable. I had very good intentions that caused long and lasting damage to the children and myself. YOU DO NOT DESERVE to be treated that way. YOUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN DESERVE better. Your family WILL support your decision! THERE ARE places to go and people who will help you! CALL ME (904) 451-1445! I WILL help you! DON’T STAY!

Now…living with a difficult husband can be fun and exciting! My Big Daddy is not perfect (don’t tell him that because I tell him everyday that he is!) but I wake up everyday getting loved on and go to bed everyday getting loved on. He is very generous and kind and handsome and EXCITING! Which proves my point that there is life after LIFE!

After sharing my Sunday Morning post with Big Daddy he says he wants to start a blog dedicated to Living With A Difficult Wife. HA HA! I told him he doesn’t know what “difficult” is but I could show him! LOL!

Happy Sunday! Don’t make the bed today and enjoy the day with YOUR husband!

10 Easy Steps To The PERFECT Marriage

10 Easy Steps to the PERFECT Marriage

1. Marry wealthy

2. NEVER have any kids

3. Don’t EVER eat any junk or fattening foods

4. Hire a maid

5. Spend lots of time with great girlfriends

6. Take your laundry to the “Fluff and fold”

7. Take time off to go have your hair and nails done

8. Keep your Mother-In-Law happy

9. Take amazing vacations

10. Make yourself happy

What? Is it too late for all that! Your Big Daddy isn’t wealthy? You have 10 kids? You never workout and eat lots of yummy junk food? You can’t afford a maid / vacation / to get your hair and nails done every week?!?! Your Mother-In-Law is not as wonderful as you wished she was?

Don’t despair, You can still be happy AND your life will be much easier if you just follow these simple little things….

1) Live life on your tip toes! – My girlfriend is always so excited to share fun things she literally walks on her tip toes. We should ALL do that!

2) Let the other guy be the Jerk! – I have told my kids this their entire lives. You don’t have to “win” every discussion or disagreement and YOU don’t have to be the Jerk!

3) Take care of yourself! – Not only do you deserve it (for being an awesome wife!) but he deserves it too! Remember…when you  take care of him you are taking care of you  too! Workout! It doesn’t have to be in the gym or running forever. Find something you like, Enjoy it! It is also the PERFECT girlfriend time.  Dress up, paint your nails, do your hair. Don’t you feel good when you look good!

This is what I look like when I work out! NOT!

4) Teach your kids to behave! – Right NOW! It is never too late or too early  to teach them to be respectful and help with chores. It is tough in the beginning but SO worth it!

5) There isn’t anything you can’t have, remember that! You  are in control of your life! If don’t believe me, give me the opportunity to show you how you can have just about anything you want!

6) Oh Dear Lord! You seriously HAVE to try your best with the In-Laws! His Mother and / or Sister can make or break a Holiday gathering if you are on the “outs”! Thankfully I have the most amazing In-Laws ever but I have heard HORRIBLE stories of friends who don’t. My daughter, in fact, had the worst In-Laws ever! In this case refer to item #2) Let the other guy be the Jerk! She still did everything she was supposed to and played “happy family” when they got together. She makes me SO proud!

7) What is the Fluff and Fold? Your local laundry mat has a laundry service. When things get a bit CrAzY use it! Drop your stinky, dirty, disgusting laundry off in the morning on your way to work and pick it up that evening smelling great! Folded! Organized! Take it home and toss it in the drawers. What a mental load off! Better yet, if your teenage children have a job , teach them to do it! It really is an inexpensive service if you are only doing your everyday clothes.

8) Read great blogs! Ha! Ha! Or write your own! I take the time to read blogs that make me happy, teach me a thing or two and that I can relate to. Why? It makes me a better cook, my house is clean in 5 easy steps,  I am not the only dork in the world and can laugh at others silly mistakes!

9) You really should take AMAZING vacations! You don’t have to go far! Half of the fun is planning, researching, saving, dreaming about it. Start small and local then once you get the hang of it AND NO ONE DIED BECAUSE YOU TOOK TIME OFF FROM WORK then dream BIG! I am GOING to go to Spain in 2015! It is worth the wait and all the extra work saving for it!

Oh Matador! Wait for me!

10) Treat your wonderful husband as your best friend! He is you know, your best friend.

Only someone who is that awesome wears a red suit to his wedding! My BFF!

A Terrible Thing Happened To A Beautiful Woman

A terrible thing happened to a beautiful woman. Some years ago a feisty young woman found herself on the streets of south Florida. Sophia was tall, thin, well built, attractive and had lots of time on her hands with nothing to do but find trouble for herself. Of course there was lots of attention from the young men who would cross her path from time to time. Her younger sister, finally tired of the instability contacted Child Protective Services and requested a Foster family for herself. Sophia was left to weather the storms of a young life alone. She stumbled through the next few years with no guidance, no love, no direction.

I have always said “you can’t help who you are”. Sophia was a strong woman, she knew she wanted more for herself. She made a conscious decision to dress better, she wanted people to take her seriously. She decided to surround herself by people who also wanted more for themselves. She joined a church. Throughout her life she had come in contact with women who appeared to have the type of life she craved. What was that? The “type of life they lived”. She explained to me she wanted to be surrounded by lots of girlfriends who took pride in themselves and were supportive of one another. Above all she wanted and desperately craved a family. Her Mother battled with mental illness her whole life and could barely care for herself. Sophia’s sister is quite a bit younger than she is, she did her best to help take care of her but how does a child care for another child? It really was the best thing for her sister and turned out to be the best for her as well. Now Sophia could concentrate on herself.

After joining a local church she found the type of family she craved. Of course everyone embraced her! She threw herself into her religion, she got a respectable job, she dressed like a lady, she transformed herself into someone she could be proud of. It wasn’t just an act, she explained to me. It WAS a complete transformation. You have the ability to be anything and anyone you want! You just have to decide to do it. Before long she met a very handsome promising young man. They married, after a few years of settling into a new home and into married life they decided they wanted to have a child. Sophia first had a little boy followed 5 years later by a precious, mushy little girl. She had everything she could ever dream of. Because her husband was a good financial provider she was able to be a stay at home Mom and was afforded the time to attend church even though he was not a member of the church. We used to joke that if someone new moved into the neighborhood it was a race between her and her husband to meet them first. He would be inviting them to hang out in the back yard to get high and she was trying to “save” them.

Sophia spent many hours at the kids school as a room mom. A beautiful spring day while volunteering at the school the lady across from the table from her threw down her scissors, starred Sophia in the face and blurted out “your husband has a girlfriend, has had a girlfriend for quite a few years and everyone knows about it”. Sophia just sat there stunned, afraid to move. She told me she refused to ask the lady how she knew or any specifics of it out of shear embarrassment. She went home and called “a meeting of the girlfriends” for support and to help her form a plan. I was AMAZED at what she came up with after hearing the suggestions from our little group. I recall a mention of maiming, someone said a flogging was in order, I myself may have thrown in a nice recipe of something that might make him a wee bit sick but not fatal. Her plan…We were to take the children home for the night, she was going to give herself a good cry, recover enough to get showered, dressed and make dinner. She was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him if it were true. If indeed it was true she would give him 6 months to go get over it and resume their lives together. Of course, he couldn’t live with the other woman but 6 months, she felt was enough time for both of them to recover and be able to work it out.

Steve came home to a beautifully dressed wife and a hearty meal. They sat down to a lovely dinner and (he) enjoyed the meal right up until the time she began asking about the “other” woman. Now, don’t you know what he did next….ADMITTED IT! She gave him his options, your family or the “other” woman…HE CHOSE THE STINKIN’ OTHER WOMAN! Sophia did what any respectable wife of a cheating husband should do…divorced the man and made sure she and the children were well taken care of! Before you get “all upset” thinking that divorce is never the answer, especially for a christian woman consider this; She still gave him the 6 months! She kept her household and children in order as if nothing had changed. She MADE sure he was still a part of the children’s daily lives and NEVER spoke bad about him to her children. Her children kept their rooms clean, did their little chores, behaved very well and accepted their punishment when they misbehaved. Amidst the personal tragedy she outwardly kept it together and her children’s lives were left in tact. She NEVER allowed the children’s Father to skimp on his duties or responsibilities. She did cry long and hard every private moment she had. My heart still breaks to this day remembering those late nights. Her reasoning was Steve was a good father, good provider and still cared for his family and wife.

Some years later Sophia met another handsome promising but much older man who had also lost his spouse through the same situation. They married, raised the children to be successful, responsible adults and even built an apartment for her mother so they could care for her. She lives the MOST amazing life thanks to her want and need of a better life. A strong Woman, a good Wife, a great Girlfriend!

P.S. Sophia’s sister is also a successful woman. She was placed with a very good family and was afforded the best education, traveled to several countries and even studied in Paris! She is another example of someone who wanted better for herself and did it!

My secret to you would be…The best form of revenge when faced with this type of tragedy is personal success!

How To Train Your……

How to train your puppy  Hubby!

In 1962 there was a fun movie called “If a Man Answers” starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. The story was about Rich socialite, Sandra Dee who meets and marries photographer Bobby Darin and attempts to “train” him to be the perfect husband. An idea by her (wonderful) mother who offers her a book on “How to train your puppy”. She explained that it is basically the same idea.You know what….She is right!

You can teach an old dog a new trick.

Men are like little puppies. No matter if they are BIG puppies or little puppies they ARE “trainable”. Now don’t go getting your pretty little panties in a wad or start huffing and puffing! Think about it for a second…..

Better yet, give it a try. Let’s use the “come” command as an example. You could be in the kitchen, he is in the bedroom, you are calling…and calling…and calling him, he has tuned you out and doesn’t come. What do we do with new puppies? Why, we offer them a treat every time they come when we call them. See! We do the exact same thing here. Try it again. Call his name, if he doesn’t come , go to where he is and ask him if he would taste something for you. Have something he really likes to taste and smooch him up while he is there, maybe offer him a drink too. Try it while you are in the bedroom and he is somewhere else. Call him into the bedroom, if he doesn’t come go get him and ask him if he would help you “move something”. When he gets to the room shut the door and kiss him passionately, open the door and say “thanks, that’s all I needed”. Pretty soon he will come EVERY TIME you call. Reward his “good” behavior!

Offer a bit of incentive when using the “come” command

Barking, howling, whining and crying – Just like a puppy your hubby will “whine and cry, howl and Bark” when left alone. They crave and need attention. He wants you to know he has cares, concerns and needs that need to be met. You have to learn how to quiet his concerns and let him know you are paying attention. Have him on a schedule. Make sure he is well fed, has play time, plenty of petting and words of praise. Make his “crate” comfortable. Speak to him kindly. Barking at your puppy hubby will encourage this type of behavior, avoid it at all costs! As well as whining and crying. Be the example! Always remember to reward good behavior!

House training – You might be a little frustrated right now that your “house training” is not progressing as quickly as you hoped. Your puppy hubby just doesn’t seem to get it! He needs time to develop a “den” instinct and not “soil” your entire house. Don’t be surprised if this part of his training takes a bit, often into years. The key is  to be patient and keep a regular routine or schedule. When he is grooming make sure he understands how to keep his “crate” tidy. Show him where to place his things, ask him “did you see our new hamper?” While feeding him, make sure to note where to put his dinner bowl. Announce “The dishwasher is empty, will ya’ll help me clear the table?” Follow it with a wink and a “maybe we will have time to watch??? or sit outside or take him for a walk. AND as always remember to reward good behavior! Words of praise and lots of petting is perfectly acceptable. Even if you are allowing him to hear you bragging on him to your kids.

When rewarding good behavior make sure to offer something he loves!

Training your puppy  hubby is a task that is both daunting and rewarding. The key is consistency. Keep him on a schedule, meet his needs, give him lots of praise, be a good example. You will be pleased with the results and your puppy hubby will be a pleasure to have around.

Happy Training!

50 Ways To Love Your Lover

Tried and True AND He Will Love You!

1) Call Big Daddy into the bedroom (or any room you are busy in) and say “I just missed you! Smooch me up Baby!”

2) While you are grocery shopping (or just about anywhere) look at him with a flirty little smile and wink.

3) Dress the table for dinner (or even just coffee in the morning). Morning Coffee together is the perfect time to just be together. You don’t have to talk. Some people like to sit quietly and have their coffee….ME! NEVER use this time to give him your list of things he needs to do! Bad idea! Really BAD! Trust me on this!

4) Find  a few of your favorite pics together (or take some and print out on your home printer, this could be really fun and honestly takes just a few minutes) and put them out on his night stand, bathroom sink or mirror. Send him to work thinking of how much fun you are!.

5) Tease Big Daddy with something sexy ( a cute NEW pair of panties in an envelope on his car seat). Now this is the best tip ever…If you buy new sexy panties to put in the envelope get two…smaller size for the envelope (unless you are already stinkin’ skinny) and one to put on later to show off.

6) Borrow his car to run an errand with and fill it with gas. This may sound boring but is SO appreciated! Save the receipt and cut it into a heart shape, leave it on the dash. That way he is sure to know you did this for him.

7) Make up an invoice and leave it on his dinner plate at dinner. Make it look official! The twist…list everything he did for you / your family. Think up everything that meant something to you, 30 minutes homework assistance, 1 hour yard work, running errands, etc… for amount due list something you are willing / are going to do for him.

8) Fold down the bed before bedtime. Apparently, this is a real luxury! Fluff the pillows, make it look neat, spritz the pillows with something light and good smelling, turn on his light and clean off his nightstand (DON’T throw anything important…or what he thinks is important away)

9) Make a “treat” drawer, I use the nightstand drawer. You could just put a bowl in the drawer with his favorite treats. My Big Daddy LOVES this! He shows it off to his friends, this makes it extra special for me.

10) Do something regularly for his family. This can sometimes be a bit tricky if you have a blended family but this is SO important. Pick up a birthday card for you both to sign and send out. Give him ideas for Christmas gifts for his family (if you do that), remind him to call when something important is happening. By the way; his Sister and Mother can be your best friends or your enemy, TREAT THEM WELL!

11) Give him the “Flash”! This is SssSooOoo much fun! When you are getting ready for work or to go out. Get all your jewelry on, do your hair and make up, put on your sexiest shoes and announce you are ready to go. What? How could I have forgotten to put on my dress? Sexy Lingerie or panties are an option. OR instead of kissing him goodbye in the morning just give him a little flash. Just beware that he will be thinking of that ALL day and will want to come home to see the rest.

12) Game Day Party! Whoop! Whoop! On Sunday, when there is NO one coming over to watch the game or Nascar with Big Daddy, I will secretly plan a party for two. I print out a few team color posters / pics, dress in team colors and bring out a few snacks to watch the game with. He LOVES stuffed mushrooms, homemade jalapeno poppers (baked not fried), chips and dip. It is all easy stuff, just act interested and cheer along. DON’T ask questions about the specifics of the race or game like “Why do they all have the same kind of car?” or “What does that mean?” They don’t like it too much if they have to answer these kinds of questions and quite honestly, do you really care about the answer?

13) Come up with a catch phrase. This is kind of flirty. There is a commercial where a camel is excited about it being “hump” day….Uhhh so is Big Daddy! I will ask him (on any given day) “You know what day it is?” his reply “HUMP DAY WHOOP WHOOP!” It makes him happy! My girlfriend and her Big Daddy use “Let’s go diving, scuba diving that is”. I know, silly right? but effective!

14) Make him a “spot”.  Big Daddy pays the bills. Instead of his things being all over the place when he does it, I created his own spot for it. A drawer in our bedroom where the checkbook is, pens, a few envelopes (stamped and our return address already on them), a calendar with days marked to remind him when the annual home insurance is due or to get quotes for car insurance before it renews, the bills and a book with the websites and passwords for paying online bills. I open all the bills and just leave the actual bill (cuts down on garbage).

15) I try to keep things as FREE as I can but sometimes a fun t-shirt in the mail is great. We have a Harley motorcycle and go riding quite a bit. We also fish, dive and go to football parties. You have to have the right shirt for it! I will go online and find one that NO one else around here has. His friends get a real “kick” out of it…so does he!

16) Fill the fridge with his favorite / standard drink. Big Daddy is a HUGE Coke drinker. I ALWAYS make sure the fridge is stocked with plenty of cold Cokes for him. I also make sure there is a frosty beer available on the off chance he wants one of those too. These simple pleasures mean a lot. If you are not sure about it then don’t do it one day, you’ll hear about it then.

17) For goodness sakes, TAKE CARE OF HIS DOG! I am NOT a dog person but a few have stolen my heart now and then. We have two dogs now. One for Big Daddy and one for our Allie Sparkles. Feed them, wash them, take them to the vet. One of the sure fire ways to your Big Daddy’s heart is through his dog. Besides, you don’t want a smelly dog around anyhow! Even if they are cute!

18) Plan for the Holidays! I have a little list I keep in my wallet with things Big Daddy mentions he wants. NOW most men, especially mine, will get what they want when they want it. I try to get things he doesn’t / won’t get for himself. One year I took a bunch of pics of his dog by our pool, I blew my favorite one up and had it framed. It made him cry! Big Daddy is NOT a crier! Thank goodness I did, that girl passed away last year and it has been his treasured gift! I have an awesome gift this year but can’t tell you yet…just in case he is listening.

19) Sometimes it is the things you don’t do that make him Love you even more. I DON’T tell him when there is an issue I can handle myself. When something is going on with my car I call the dealer and get it handled! The kids (His and Mine!) know to call me FIRST when they have something that needs to be taken care of. We do it quietly and tell him later. My only exception with the kids is if it involves significant money, you obviously have to tell him (after you get all the specifics worked out first to soften the blow).

20). Now that should be a good start for you. I will save the rest for when you need a bit of an inspiration. You can always follow me on twitter @secretsofawife for daily inspiration #50ways

Happy Sexy Saturday!

I Like What’s In Your Drawers

Seriously! I do!

Oh Big Daddy is going to LOVE going through these drawers!

Want to know how to please your Big Daddy? Here is my secret : It honestly only took me 5 minutes to make him happy! I picked up his favorite candy while at the grocery store this afternoon, I robbed the flowers from my office and printed out the adorable lips http://www.weddingchicks.com/freebies/wedding-signs-labels/muah-favor-tags/

I think someone has a sweet tooth!

And what do you know?!?! One happy man. I think it is all the little things that truly matter. Small gestures, taking a moment to think of him…not to mention the fact that the candy might just be your favs too!

I would love to see what is in your drawers…NOT THOSE DRAWERS SILLY! YOUR NIGHT STAND DRAWERS!

Happy Munching!

 

 

Calm Before The Storm

This, my dear, is the calm before the storm! It is not always pleasant to think about, just like a bad storm on the horizon, it is brewing.

I have a motto I live by that says “Everyone is allowed their day”. YOU, my Dear, are aloud to wake up and be the biggest..biatchachos! You get the entire day! Gripe, fuss, stomp your feet! This day is YOURS! But that is it! One day and move on! There is going to be the day that your Big Daddy wakes up grouchy as EVER! For NO apparent reason or for many reasons. You need to have a plan. Trust me when I say a plan now is necessary to survive this storm and still remain friends.

One sure way to prepare for this storm is to think about anything that can be used against you. “That sliding glass door stays so dirty, why don’t you ever clean it? Have you called Blah Blah Blah? I have asked you all week to take care of it!” or my ALL time favorite “Why don’t we have any ????” Now, you know, he doesn’t EVER eat or use the ????? and has prob just decided right this minute that he wants it OR has gone through EVERYTHING in the house and that is the ONLY thing you don’t have. The beauty of this type of preparation is that these are most likely the very same things that are bothering you too. If you play your cards right you won’t even have to take care of what ever it is. He is in a good mood now, Sweetly suggest or ask him to take care of it and it will be one less thing to worry about when you are hunkering down for the storm.

How did this get here?!?! That is one sexy donkey lobster Big Daddy has there!

Don’t be silly and think I am suggesting you walk around on egg shells thinking the bottom is going to fall out at any moment! What I am saying is that a bit of prep now will make your life much easier. What is my secret? If he just happens to be in the middle of a rant, is having trouble gathering his emotional control, do just one thing….The Flash!

That’s right! Just stand there, straight faced and lift your shirt! Let your milkshake bring this boy to the yard! Men are painfully predictable, use this to your advantage. He may blink a bit and even shake his head but he will have forgotten what ever it is that is bothering him. Sometimes we need to be “shaken” out of our moods and a wee bit of pleasant distraction will do the trick.

Little things like making him breakfast to go if he is running late, an envelope with a pair of your cute panties inside and a “there is more where this came from” note on the seat of his car, coming home to a clean house, pow wow with the kids and let them know Big Daddy had a hard day so let’s behave or we will sell you to gypsies talk (if this works remember to use it for your day next time!) will help the storm to blow over.

I want you to remember that when you take care of him, you take care of yourself too. Set a little table up just for the two of you. Drinks, snacks, maybe a fun little picture set out. Take a break before dinner, you needed one anyhow. Think of something funny to tell him from your day or just listen. Sometimes we need to just “say what we have to say” and it is over with.

If all else fails….Make him the best darn meal of his life, follow it up with a freakin’ awesome dessert and send him to bed fat and happy! Tomorrow will be a better day!

Sour patch kids cupcakes are perfect to bring ….who am I kidding? Cupcakes are just plain PERFECT!

My prayers are with you girl!

 

It Smells Good + Looks Good = It MUST Be Good!

Let’s just say….For the sake of argument….you have been at the pool ALL day with your girlfriends because the weather has been SSOOO stinkin’ nice while your Big Daddy has been slavin’ away at work. You just happen to notice the time and the fact that you are out of something really great to drink because your girlfriends have finished off your cooler, note to self: bring more “cooler action”.

Holy Schnikes! Big Daddy is going to be home in less than an hour and I …I mean you haven’t done a thing (Stupid Florida sunshine and beautiful days!) ! NO straightening of the house, NO dinner plans, NO clean clothes, etc…. What ever is a girl to do? Well, you have come to the right place!

Apparently, I have been doing this for quite a few years. My poor children will tell you we have PERFECTED the 10 second tidy. Before you scoff and “turn me off” thinking “What? another way to organize your house deal”. No such thing. This is a tried and true method to get you out of trouble FAST! Heck! I even use it in place of working out at the gym for hours like my stupid, really in shape and gorgeous girlfriends do.

Take care of immediate probs first, things you can see. Bedroom, Bathroom, Kitchen, Floors,  YOU are the key areas. Quick grab a laundry basket to throw things in and put away later as well as a garbage bag. Start with your bedroom – it is the first place he will go to to throw his shoes in the floor. Make the bed, pick up the dirty clothes, throw the garbage in your bag. Next the bathroom – guys are generally painfully predictable. Squirt some toilet blow cleaner in the bowl/give it a  and give it a quick swirl with the brush, spray down cabinets / sink with anything that smells good and wipe off. Empty the can (in your handy dandy bag you are carrying. Throw anything you can into a drawer or put under the cabinet. Vacuum the room.

Kitchen Next – Make sure his favorite drink is nice and chilly! Throw him a drink in the fridge / freezer (if he is a beer guy) This will win you BIG, HUGE points if you don’t already do this and takes away from anything you didn’t do that you should have done! Clean out the dishwasher / load the dishwasher, Clear off the counter tops , spray and wipe down quickly with anything good and smelly. Vacuum the floors.

Throw in a load of laundry + sound effects = I have been working all day getting the house cleaned AND he will have clean “drawers” tomorrow cuz’ he didn’t have any this morning which is why you were all worried about the house in the first place when you left the pool, remember!

YOU – Jump in the shower , wash off all the tan lotion. You will want to get rid of ANYTHING that says you were at the pool. Sorry, I don’t have any fix for the beautiful tan you got today, you can use this to your advantage though! After you rinse off and throw on something cute, you are going to look mighty sexy making dinner with your BEAUTIFUL new tan, sexy outfit (the first thing you saw in your closet) and a frosty beverage for him. Don’t forget to squirt – I love that word! on something smelly yourself – it says “I have taken the time to get dressed for you”. Bwahahahahah!

Run to the fridge and throw something on the stove. This is where it gets a bit tricky! You have options though! Option 1 – Leftovers – You have to have a story to go along with it ESPECIALLY if he really didn’t like it the first time ’round. “I thought we’d have blah, blah, blah tonight so we can get to bed early, I have been thinking of you ALL day!” or “Oh Geez!, long day, thought we would have an easy dinner so we could watch (his favorite show / movie) together” both work well. Option 2 – Freezer action – grab something out of the freezer and throw it into the oven – even if it is not preheated – It will be smelling SOOO good as he comes through the door. It is going to take a LONG time for dinner to get ready so be prepared to spend some “quality” time with him taking away from the fact your frozen dinner is STILL in the oven. YOU HAVE TO COME UP WITH A QUICK appetizer while you guys are spending “quality” time together so he won’t get grouchy from hunger. Now this is key….set the table! Appearances are everything! Again – a set table = I have planned something great for you. Bwahahahah! Sorry I keep laughing!

Do you see a trend? If it smells good, looks good, it MUST be good!

BIG, HUGE SECRET : If you plan on going to the pool today do your 10 second tidy and take something out for dinner first!

Happy Tuesday!

Room Service

You would think there is nothing but “Lovin’ goin’ on round here” with TWO posts about “Date Night” in a row. Truth is I am an ALL or nothing girl. This is both good for Big Daddy and Bad! This just happens to be a good week, lucky him! Next week he will be “all fat and happy”!

Room Service…OOOH and I get to show off my new comforter set! What do you think?

I try to keep things fun. Tonight is a “Room Service” kind of night. Who doesn’t love room service, right? For Father’s Day I made Big Daddy a little room service sign and stuck it on the door to the bedroom. I think he had as much fun reading his choices as he did the actual “Date”. To be honest, I had as much fun making it as I did giving it……

What is on tonight’s menu? Scuba Steve? The game is going to start in 10 minutes? Dessert first?

It has kind of been a running joke since he has received the room service card to come up with fun ideas. Scuba Steve, I think, is his favorite. I AM REFERRING TO THE CARD CHOICE, IN THIS INSTANCE! Let’s NOT go there!

It was really easy to make. Just some card stock, wasabi tape, and a printer. Heck! You don’t even need the printer! Just jot down a few fun ideas and hang it on the door. Why not take a few fun pics and give him an idea of what you would suggest?!?!  Just be prepared to offer the “services” you place in the card. Don’t limit yourself either. Offer desserts, to do his laundry, coffee delivered to his bedside, for him to rub your feet, Bring you cupcakes in bed, (oops! those were for me!) ….

I had my idea then decided to search Pinterest (don’t you know I am not the only crafty babe alive, Darn it!) I actually found you a FREE printable and other ideas to add. http://www.thedatingdivas.com/romantic-rendezvous/room-service-a-romantic-gift/

Of course, when you tell your girlfriends, over a couple bottles of wine, you get this:

Moby Dick, Angry Oyster, Lollipop tomorrow, No thanks!, Spanky pants, The never ending story, Milk shakes in the yard, Hump Day, Cowgirl Jiney, Monkeys in a barrel…

Which also leads to the WORST dateline EVER …… “Wake up little fellar”, or my ALL time favorite “What’s that smell?”

What kind of services would you provide for “Date Night”?

I guess the secret is out!

Mary