Calm Before The Storm

This, my dear, is the calm before the storm! It is not always pleasant to think about, just like a bad storm on the horizon, it is brewing.

The calm before the storm is usually the most beautiful

I have a motto I live by that says “Everyone is allowed their day”. YOU, my Dear, are aloud to wake up and be the biggest..biatchachos! You get the entire day! Gripe, fuss, stomp your feet! This day is YOURS! But that is it! One day and move on! There is going to be the day that your Big Daddy wakes up grouchy as EVER! For NO apparent reason or for many reasons. You need to have a plan. Trust me when I say a plan now is necessary to survive this storm and still remain friends.

One sure way to prepare for this storm is to think about anything that can be used against you. “That sliding glass door stays so dirty, why don’t you ever clean it? Have you called Blah Blah Blah? I have asked you all week to take care of it!” or my ALL time favorite “Why don’t we have any ????” Now, you know, he doesn’t EVER eat or use the ????? and has prob just decided right this minute that he wants it OR has gone through EVERYTHING in the house and that is the ONLY thing you don’t have. The beauty of this type of preparation is that these are most likely the very same things that are bothering you too. If you play your cards right you won’t even have to take care of what ever it is. He is in a good mood now, Sweetly suggest or ask him to take care of it and it will be one less thing to worry about when you are hunkering down for the storm.

How did this get here?!?! That is one sexy donkey lobster Big Daddy has there!

How did this get here?!?! That is one sexy donkey lobster Big Daddy has there!

Don’t be silly and think I am suggesting you walk around on egg shells thinking the bottom is going to fall out at any moment! What I am saying is that a bit of prep now will make your life much easier. What is my secret? If he just happens to be in the middle of a rant, is having trouble gathering his emotional control, do just one thing….The Flash!

That’s right! Just stand there, straight faced and lift your shirt! Let your milkshake bring this boy to the yard! Men are painfully predictable, use this to your advantage. He may blink a bit and even shake his head but he will have forgotten what ever it is that is bothering him. Sometimes we need to be “shaken” out of our moods and a wee bit of pleasant distraction will do the trick.

Little things like making him breakfast to go if he is running late, an envelope with a pair of your cute panties inside and a “there is more where this came from” note on the seat of his car, coming home to a clean house, pow wow with the kids and let them know Big Daddy had a hard day so let’s behave or we will sell you to gypsies talk (if this works remember to use it for your day next time!) will help the storm to blow over.

I want you to remember that when you take care of him, you take care of yourself too. Set a little table up just for the two of you. Drinks, snacks, maybe a fun little picture set out. Take a break before dinner, you needed one anyhow. Think of something funny to tell him from your day or just listen. Sometimes we need to just “say what we have to say” and it is over with.

If all else fails….Make him the best darn meal of his life, follow it up with a freakin’ awesome dessert and send him to bed fat and happy! Tomorrow will be a better day!

Sour patch kids cupcakes are perfect to bring ....who am I kidding? Cupcakes are just plain PERFECT!

Sour patch kids cupcakes are perfect to bring ….who am I kidding? Cupcakes are just plain PERFECT!

My prayers are with you girl!