Living With A Difficult Husband

Poster Child for “Living with a difficult Husband who is crazy fun” Just for the record that is NOT a stain on his shirt but a rain drop. It was raining that day. 

Not everyone has the perfect husband. What’s that you say? You know! You say you’re living with a difficult husband? Now I want you to understand the difference between a difficult husband and a DIFFICULT husband!

While having a discussion with your husband, you are telling him something SO heartfelt. Does he stop you and say “I could really care less about what you are saying”?  Sometimes that happens to me. I would say that is a difficult husband.

In “my former life as a wife” aka my last marriage there were unspeakable things that happened. One evening my 4 little children and I returned home to find our other vehicle parked in the middle of the yard packed with weird junk and a cross on the steering wheel and no driver. After putting the children to bed “he” made an appearance on the back porch fully visible through my sliding glass doors wild eyed, dirty and crazy on drugs. I was scared out of my whits. I will spare you every minute of this tragic story but there were knives held to throats, followed by wild police searches through the house and yard then 10 minutes after his arrest constant calling on the phone. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN WHEN HE IS IN POLICE CUSTODY?!?! This, I would say, is a DIFFICULT husband and I wished I could say that was the only situation and that it had ended there.

What is my BIG secret for surviving a DIFFICULT husband? As a wife, thankfully we have the best resources available to us for comfort, advice and real life experiences…Each other! It is important we share with our closest girlfriends, mothers, sisters (NOT YOUR CO-WORKERS OR CASUAL FRIENDS) and ask their advice, listen to their aspect of the situation, how do they do it? Not every woman is as wonderful as a wife as you are so beware that not all advice is good advice.

Okay…This is even more of a Secret…Your Father! He is also the BEST resource for advice on certain situations. Don’t go asking him about “Date Night” because he will run from the house screaming….Sorry that I know this from personal experience. Sorry Daddy!

I want to tell you something that is going to FREAK out the most respectful Mothers and Grandmothers. Now keep an open mind here….DO NOT, for one second, think that you are doing your children or even yourself a service by staying with a DIFFICULT husband. When I lived in the situation I did, with my precious little children, I stayed because I thought it was the right thing. I didn’t want my children to think parents are disposable. I had very good intentions that caused long and lasting damage to the children and myself. YOU DO NOT DESERVE to be treated that way. YOUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN DESERVE better. Your family WILL support your decision! THERE ARE places to go and people who will help you! CALL ME (904) 451-1445! I WILL help you! DON’T STAY!

Now…living with a difficult husband can be fun and exciting! My Big Daddy is not perfect (don’t tell him that because I tell him everyday that he is!) but I wake up everyday getting loved on and go to bed everyday getting loved on. He is very generous and kind and handsome and EXCITING! Which proves my point that there is life after LIFE!

After sharing my Sunday Morning post with Big Daddy he says he wants to start a blog dedicated to Living With A Difficult Wife. HA HA! I told him he doesn’t know what “difficult” is but I could show him! LOL!

Happy Sunday! Don’t make the bed today and enjoy the day with YOUR husband!

10 Easy Steps To The PERFECT Marriage

10 Easy Steps to the PERFECT Marriage

1. Marry wealthy

2. NEVER have any kids

3. Don’t EVER eat any junk or fattening foods

4. Hire a maid

5. Spend lots of time with great girlfriends

6. Take your laundry to the “Fluff and fold”

7. Take time off to go have your hair and nails done

8. Keep your Mother-In-Law happy

9. Take amazing vacations

10. Make yourself happy

What? Is it too late for all that! Your Big Daddy isn’t wealthy? You have 10 kids? You never workout and eat lots of yummy junk food? You can’t afford a maid / vacation / to get your hair and nails done every week?!?! Your Mother-In-Law is not as wonderful as you wished she was?

Don’t despair, You can still be happy AND your life will be much easier if you just follow these simple little things….

1) Live life on your tip toes! – My girlfriend is always so excited to share fun things she literally walks on her tip toes. We should ALL do that!

2) Let the other guy be the Jerk! – I have told my kids this their entire lives. You don’t have to “win” every discussion or disagreement and YOU don’t have to be the Jerk!

3) Take care of yourself! – Not only do you deserve it (for being an awesome wife!) but he deserves it too! Remember…when you  take care of him you are taking care of you  too! Workout! It doesn’t have to be in the gym or running forever. Find something you like, Enjoy it! It is also the PERFECT girlfriend time.  Dress up, paint your nails, do your hair. Don’t you feel good when you look good!

This is what I look like when I work out! NOT!

4) Teach your kids to behave! – Right NOW! It is never too late or too early  to teach them to be respectful and help with chores. It is tough in the beginning but SO worth it!

5) There isn’t anything you can’t have, remember that! You  are in control of your life! If don’t believe me, give me the opportunity to show you how you can have just about anything you want!

6) Oh Dear Lord! You seriously HAVE to try your best with the In-Laws! His Mother and / or Sister can make or break a Holiday gathering if you are on the “outs”! Thankfully I have the most amazing In-Laws ever but I have heard HORRIBLE stories of friends who don’t. My daughter, in fact, had the worst In-Laws ever! In this case refer to item #2) Let the other guy be the Jerk! She still did everything she was supposed to and played “happy family” when they got together. She makes me SO proud!

7) What is the Fluff and Fold? Your local laundry mat has a laundry service. When things get a bit CrAzY use it! Drop your stinky, dirty, disgusting laundry off in the morning on your way to work and pick it up that evening smelling great! Folded! Organized! Take it home and toss it in the drawers. What a mental load off! Better yet, if your teenage children have a job , teach them to do it! It really is an inexpensive service if you are only doing your everyday clothes.

8) Read great blogs! Ha! Ha! Or write your own! I take the time to read blogs that make me happy, teach me a thing or two and that I can relate to. Why? It makes me a better cook, my house is clean in 5 easy steps,  I am not the only dork in the world and can laugh at others silly mistakes!

9) You really should take AMAZING vacations! You don’t have to go far! Half of the fun is planning, researching, saving, dreaming about it. Start small and local then once you get the hang of it AND NO ONE DIED BECAUSE YOU TOOK TIME OFF FROM WORK then dream BIG! I am GOING to go to Spain in 2015! It is worth the wait and all the extra work saving for it!

Oh Matador! Wait for me!

10) Treat your wonderful husband as your best friend! He is you know, your best friend.

Only someone who is that awesome wears a red suit to his wedding! My BFF!

A Terrible Thing Happened To A Beautiful Woman

A terrible thing happened to a beautiful woman. Some years ago a feisty young woman found herself on the streets of south Florida. Sophia was tall, thin, well built, attractive and had lots of time on her hands with nothing to do but find trouble for herself. Of course there was lots of attention from the young men who would cross her path from time to time. Her younger sister, finally tired of the instability contacted Child Protective Services and requested a Foster family for herself. Sophia was left to weather the storms of a young life alone. She stumbled through the next few years with no guidance, no love, no direction.

I have always said “you can’t help who you are”. Sophia was a strong woman, she knew she wanted more for herself. She made a conscious decision to dress better, she wanted people to take her seriously. She decided to surround herself by people who also wanted more for themselves. She joined a church. Throughout her life she had come in contact with women who appeared to have the type of life she craved. What was that? The “type of life they lived”. She explained to me she wanted to be surrounded by lots of girlfriends who took pride in themselves and were supportive of one another. Above all she wanted and desperately craved a family. Her Mother battled with mental illness her whole life and could barely care for herself. Sophia’s sister is quite a bit younger than she is, she did her best to help take care of her but how does a child care for another child? It really was the best thing for her sister and turned out to be the best for her as well. Now Sophia could concentrate on herself.

After joining a local church she found the type of family she craved. Of course everyone embraced her! She threw herself into her religion, she got a respectable job, she dressed like a lady, she transformed herself into someone she could be proud of. It wasn’t just an act, she explained to me. It WAS a complete transformation. You have the ability to be anything and anyone you want! You just have to decide to do it. Before long she met a very handsome promising young man. They married, after a few years of settling into a new home and into married life they decided they wanted to have a child. Sophia first had a little boy followed 5 years later by a precious, mushy little girl. She had everything she could ever dream of. Because her husband was a good financial provider she was able to be a stay at home Mom and was afforded the time to attend church even though he was not a member of the church. We used to joke that if someone new moved into the neighborhood it was a race between her and her husband to meet them first. He would be inviting them to hang out in the back yard to get high and she was trying to “save” them.

Sophia spent many hours at the kids school as a room mom. A beautiful spring day while volunteering at the school the lady across from the table from her threw down her scissors, starred Sophia in the face and blurted out “your husband has a girlfriend, has had a girlfriend for quite a few years and everyone knows about it”. Sophia just sat there stunned, afraid to move. She told me she refused to ask the lady how she knew or any specifics of it out of shear embarrassment. She went home and called “a meeting of the girlfriends” for support and to help her form a plan. I was AMAZED at what she came up with after hearing the suggestions from our little group. I recall a mention of maiming, someone said a flogging was in order, I myself may have thrown in a nice recipe of something that might make him a wee bit sick but not fatal. Her plan…We were to take the children home for the night, she was going to give herself a good cry, recover enough to get showered, dressed and make dinner. She was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him if it were true. If indeed it was true she would give him 6 months to go get over it and resume their lives together. Of course, he couldn’t live with the other woman but 6 months, she felt was enough time for both of them to recover and be able to work it out.

Steve came home to a beautifully dressed wife and a hearty meal. They sat down to a lovely dinner and (he) enjoyed the meal right up until the time she began asking about the “other” woman. Now, don’t you know what he did next….ADMITTED IT! She gave him his options, your family or the “other” woman…HE CHOSE THE STINKIN’ OTHER WOMAN! Sophia did what any respectable wife of a cheating husband should do…divorced the man and made sure she and the children were well taken care of! Before you get “all upset” thinking that divorce is never the answer, especially for a christian woman consider this; She still gave him the 6 months! She kept her household and children in order as if nothing had changed. She MADE sure he was still a part of the children’s daily lives and NEVER spoke bad about him to her children. Her children kept their rooms clean, did their little chores, behaved very well and accepted their punishment when they misbehaved. Amidst the personal tragedy she outwardly kept it together and her children’s lives were left in tact. She NEVER allowed the children’s Father to skimp on his duties or responsibilities. She did cry long and hard every private moment she had. My heart still breaks to this day remembering those late nights. Her reasoning was Steve was a good father, good provider and still cared for his family and wife.

Some years later Sophia met another handsome promising but much older man who had also lost his spouse through the same situation. They married, raised the children to be successful, responsible adults and even built an apartment for her mother so they could care for her. She lives the MOST amazing life thanks to her want and need of a better life. A strong Woman, a good Wife, a great Girlfriend!

P.S. Sophia’s sister is also a successful woman. She was placed with a very good family and was afforded the best education, traveled to several countries and even studied in Paris! She is another example of someone who wanted better for herself and did it!

My secret to you would be…The best form of revenge when faced with this type of tragedy is personal success!

How To Train Your……

How to train your puppy  Hubby!

In 1962 there was a fun movie called “If a Man Answers” starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. The story was about Rich socialite, Sandra Dee who meets and marries photographer Bobby Darin and attempts to “train” him to be the perfect husband. An idea by her (wonderful) mother who offers her a book on “How to train your puppy”. She explained that it is basically the same idea.You know what….She is right!

You can teach an old dog a new trick.

Men are like little puppies. No matter if they are BIG puppies or little puppies they ARE “trainable”. Now don’t go getting your pretty little panties in a wad or start huffing and puffing! Think about it for a second…..

Better yet, give it a try. Let’s use the “come” command as an example. You could be in the kitchen, he is in the bedroom, you are calling…and calling…and calling him, he has tuned you out and doesn’t come. What do we do with new puppies? Why, we offer them a treat every time they come when we call them. See! We do the exact same thing here. Try it again. Call his name, if he doesn’t come , go to where he is and ask him if he would taste something for you. Have something he really likes to taste and smooch him up while he is there, maybe offer him a drink too. Try it while you are in the bedroom and he is somewhere else. Call him into the bedroom, if he doesn’t come go get him and ask him if he would help you “move something”. When he gets to the room shut the door and kiss him passionately, open the door and say “thanks, that’s all I needed”. Pretty soon he will come EVERY TIME you call. Reward his “good” behavior!

Offer a bit of incentive when using the “come” command

Barking, howling, whining and crying – Just like a puppy your hubby will “whine and cry, howl and Bark” when left alone. They crave and need attention. He wants you to know he has cares, concerns and needs that need to be met. You have to learn how to quiet his concerns and let him know you are paying attention. Have him on a schedule. Make sure he is well fed, has play time, plenty of petting and words of praise. Make his “crate” comfortable. Speak to him kindly. Barking at your puppy hubby will encourage this type of behavior, avoid it at all costs! As well as whining and crying. Be the example! Always remember to reward good behavior!

House training – You might be a little frustrated right now that your “house training” is not progressing as quickly as you hoped. Your puppy hubby just doesn’t seem to get it! He needs time to develop a “den” instinct and not “soil” your entire house. Don’t be surprised if this part of his training takes a bit, often into years. The key is  to be patient and keep a regular routine or schedule. When he is grooming make sure he understands how to keep his “crate” tidy. Show him where to place his things, ask him “did you see our new hamper?” While feeding him, make sure to note where to put his dinner bowl. Announce “The dishwasher is empty, will ya’ll help me clear the table?” Follow it with a wink and a “maybe we will have time to watch??? or sit outside or take him for a walk. AND as always remember to reward good behavior! Words of praise and lots of petting is perfectly acceptable. Even if you are allowing him to hear you bragging on him to your kids.

When rewarding good behavior make sure to offer something he loves!

Training your puppy  hubby is a task that is both daunting and rewarding. The key is consistency. Keep him on a schedule, meet his needs, give him lots of praise, be a good example. You will be pleased with the results and your puppy hubby will be a pleasure to have around.

Happy Training!

My Secret Obsession….

I have this obsession fetish   passion for journals, diaries, scraps of paper to write on…. It has helped and healed me through many a situation. I have planned our entire lives in a journal / diary. I have one for just about every area in my life ; fitness, personal, blogging, ideas for the grands. My all time favorite journal is our Dinner Diary! I love to cook! I get some deep down satisfaction of knowing what I have created has pleased Big Daddy not only physically but emotionally. Food does that to you…it is emotionally satisfying. At least good food does!

If there are two things I know about men… The only two I AM sure of…are take care of his Dog and fill his tank and he is yours forever!

The Dinner Diary works like this… I plan breakfast, lunches and dinner. It keeps things fresh and interesting. It allows me to make notes about what worked and what was a “pinterest fail”. I am able to plan for leftovers and make lunches for our kids (bwahahaha! The oldest is 40!) to take to work.  It also makes it so stinkin’ easy to “pantry shop” and not have to run to the grocery store two times a day. After SSSOOO many years of using it, I don’t always rely on it so much for planning but will sometimes keep record of what we had and where so I can duplicate it later…better!

There are a lot of good resources for dinner ideas. One of my favorite food blogs is “Our Family Eats”, Susan focuses on healthy meals. Thank goodness they are also tasty! AND of course we all have a pinterest board for “Whats for dinner tonight”. I am thinking I need to add a “NEVER SERVE THIS TO YOUR FAMILY”  or a “THIS STUFF IS CRAP” board.

Here is what a few days might look lilke ;

Monday September 16th – Italian

Breakfast – Egg, cheese, tomato English Muffins

Lunch – Stuffed Mushrooms

Dinner – Pepperoni Pizza Lasagna (ourfamilyeats.com), salad, garlic bread

Notes : Dinner was a big hit – freeze half for another night.

Tuesday September 17th – American

Breakfast – Waffles, Bacon

Lunch – Out (Big Daddy’s Appt. in Jax)

Dinner – Philly Cheesesteak Stuffed Bell peppers, Green tossed Salad (recipebyphoto.com)

Notes : Leftover peppers for Allie Sparkles’ school lunch.

This works well as a sandwich, stuffed pepper, for lunch the next day!

My other BIG HUGE secret…I sneak in healthy items when ever I can. I am a vegetarian, Big Daddy is a meat and potatoes man and Allie Sparkles doesn’t eat anything spicy. Almost every meal consists of three separate meals, lots of work, by the way! SSSssoooOOOo I use vegan butter, low sodium,  almond milk, light / fat free / sugar free items as much as possible. I have found that if they don’t see it, they won’t know the difference. The payoff is, if they don’t like it you can always say “Geez! Sorry you didn’t like that, we won’t use their recipe again” . he! he!

Here is the beauty with the Dinner Diary ; Big Daddy will ask “What is for dinner?” your reply “We are having meatloaf” NO? Chicken Pot Pie…NO? Spaghetti? Taco Salad! No! No! No! Okay, Dinner out it is then!

My Daddy always said “We are incapable of having an original thought”. Meaning somewhere, someone has prob already thought of something brilliant we just came up with. Yup, pretty much the same with my brilliant Dinner Diary. I have found THE MOST WONDERFUL POST from a lady who also keeps a dinner diary http://www.dinneralovestory.com/closing-the-book/ . This post almost made me cry!

Make sure you share your “tried and true, go to” dinner plans with us! I am always fishing for new ideas…which I will take all the credit for with Big Daddy!

A real woman can dive for dinner AND cook it!

50 Ways To Love Your Lover

Tried and True AND He Will Love You!

1) Call Big Daddy into the bedroom (or any room you are busy in) and say “I just missed you! Smooch me up Baby!”

2) While you are grocery shopping (or just about anywhere) look at him with a flirty little smile and wink.

3) Dress the table for dinner (or even just coffee in the morning). Morning Coffee together is the perfect time to just be together. You don’t have to talk. Some people like to sit quietly and have their coffee….ME! NEVER use this time to give him your list of things he needs to do! Bad idea! Really BAD! Trust me on this!

4) Find  a few of your favorite pics together (or take some and print out on your home printer, this could be really fun and honestly takes just a few minutes) and put them out on his night stand, bathroom sink or mirror. Send him to work thinking of how much fun you are!.

5) Tease Big Daddy with something sexy ( a cute NEW pair of panties in an envelope on his car seat). Now this is the best tip ever…If you buy new sexy panties to put in the envelope get two…smaller size for the envelope (unless you are already stinkin’ skinny) and one to put on later to show off.

6) Borrow his car to run an errand with and fill it with gas. This may sound boring but is SO appreciated! Save the receipt and cut it into a heart shape, leave it on the dash. That way he is sure to know you did this for him.

7) Make up an invoice and leave it on his dinner plate at dinner. Make it look official! The twist…list everything he did for you / your family. Think up everything that meant something to you, 30 minutes homework assistance, 1 hour yard work, running errands, etc… for amount due list something you are willing / are going to do for him.

8) Fold down the bed before bedtime. Apparently, this is a real luxury! Fluff the pillows, make it look neat, spritz the pillows with something light and good smelling, turn on his light and clean off his nightstand (DON’T throw anything important…or what he thinks is important away)

9) Make a “treat” drawer, I use the nightstand drawer. You could just put a bowl in the drawer with his favorite treats. My Big Daddy LOVES this! He shows it off to his friends, this makes it extra special for me.

10) Do something regularly for his family. This can sometimes be a bit tricky if you have a blended family but this is SO important. Pick up a birthday card for you both to sign and send out. Give him ideas for Christmas gifts for his family (if you do that), remind him to call when something important is happening. By the way; his Sister and Mother can be your best friends or your enemy, TREAT THEM WELL!

11) Give him the “Flash”! This is SssSooOoo much fun! When you are getting ready for work or to go out. Get all your jewelry on, do your hair and make up, put on your sexiest shoes and announce you are ready to go. What? How could I have forgotten to put on my dress? Sexy Lingerie or panties are an option. OR instead of kissing him goodbye in the morning just give him a little flash. Just beware that he will be thinking of that ALL day and will want to come home to see the rest.

12) Game Day Party! Whoop! Whoop! On Sunday, when there is NO one coming over to watch the game or Nascar with Big Daddy, I will secretly plan a party for two. I print out a few team color posters / pics, dress in team colors and bring out a few snacks to watch the game with. He LOVES stuffed mushrooms, homemade jalapeno poppers (baked not fried), chips and dip. It is all easy stuff, just act interested and cheer along. DON’T ask questions about the specifics of the race or game like “Why do they all have the same kind of car?” or “What does that mean?” They don’t like it too much if they have to answer these kinds of questions and quite honestly, do you really care about the answer?

13) Come up with a catch phrase. This is kind of flirty. There is a commercial where a camel is excited about it being “hump” day….Uhhh so is Big Daddy! I will ask him (on any given day) “You know what day it is?” his reply “HUMP DAY WHOOP WHOOP!” It makes him happy! My girlfriend and her Big Daddy use “Let’s go diving, scuba diving that is”. I know, silly right? but effective!

14) Make him a “spot”.  Big Daddy pays the bills. Instead of his things being all over the place when he does it, I created his own spot for it. A drawer in our bedroom where the checkbook is, pens, a few envelopes (stamped and our return address already on them), a calendar with days marked to remind him when the annual home insurance is due or to get quotes for car insurance before it renews, the bills and a book with the websites and passwords for paying online bills. I open all the bills and just leave the actual bill (cuts down on garbage).

15) I try to keep things as FREE as I can but sometimes a fun t-shirt in the mail is great. We have a Harley motorcycle and go riding quite a bit. We also fish, dive and go to football parties. You have to have the right shirt for it! I will go online and find one that NO one else around here has. His friends get a real “kick” out of it…so does he!

16) Fill the fridge with his favorite / standard drink. Big Daddy is a HUGE Coke drinker. I ALWAYS make sure the fridge is stocked with plenty of cold Cokes for him. I also make sure there is a frosty beer available on the off chance he wants one of those too. These simple pleasures mean a lot. If you are not sure about it then don’t do it one day, you’ll hear about it then.

17) For goodness sakes, TAKE CARE OF HIS DOG! I am NOT a dog person but a few have stolen my heart now and then. We have two dogs now. One for Big Daddy and one for our Allie Sparkles. Feed them, wash them, take them to the vet. One of the sure fire ways to your Big Daddy’s heart is through his dog. Besides, you don’t want a smelly dog around anyhow! Even if they are cute!

18) Plan for the Holidays! I have a little list I keep in my wallet with things Big Daddy mentions he wants. NOW most men, especially mine, will get what they want when they want it. I try to get things he doesn’t / won’t get for himself. One year I took a bunch of pics of his dog by our pool, I blew my favorite one up and had it framed. It made him cry! Big Daddy is NOT a crier! Thank goodness I did, that girl passed away last year and it has been his treasured gift! I have an awesome gift this year but can’t tell you yet…just in case he is listening.

19) Sometimes it is the things you don’t do that make him Love you even more. I DON’T tell him when there is an issue I can handle myself. When something is going on with my car I call the dealer and get it handled! The kids (His and Mine!) know to call me FIRST when they have something that needs to be taken care of. We do it quietly and tell him later. My only exception with the kids is if it involves significant money, you obviously have to tell him (after you get all the specifics worked out first to soften the blow).

20). Now that should be a good start for you. I will save the rest for when you need a bit of an inspiration. You can always follow me on twitter @secretsofawife for daily inspiration #50ways

Happy Sexy Saturday!

Feed Me, Rub Me, Throw Me In Bed

Okay, so maybe someone does like to eat a bit…well, maybe just cake!

Big Daddy is always bringing me TONS of food, from the grocery store, from the farmer’s market, from the restaurant. When it goes bad, cuz’ there is SO stinkin’ much of it I can’t eat it all (Believe you me, I have tried!) , he gets mad. By the way, our last house had 4 refrigerators and 1 freezer.

Feeding me is his “Love Language”. Knowing this, I try to make sure all of his meals are extra special.

I am constantly cleaning and straightening up. I make him special little cards and treats. I stay busy ALL day long working on things I think he would like. This is how I show him my love. Sometimes I wonder if he even notices all the things I do AND if he even cares. Honestly, Does he think the underwear fairy just leaves his fresh, warm towel and  jammies on the sink for when he gets out of the shower?

I got to thinking about this…We must be busy doing things for one another that we think are things each one wants or needs from each other and just missed the mark. Get it? I am not sure why it sounds soooo much better in my head than written down, weird!

Apparently, There is a book written by a gentleman named Gary Chapman called “The 5 Love Languages”. The Love Languages according to Gary are; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Just for “research” I had Big Daddy and I take the test just to see what Gary thought our “Love Languages” are. What I found interesting was not so much about what our Love Languages are but what they aren’t. Neither Big Daddy and I are about getting/receiving gifts! I could care less about getting a shiny new ring (Don’t be silly and think I don’t like one as much as the next gal) on my anniversary, I would rather go somewhere special and spend the time together. He and I share that character in common.

Now, knowing this you would think that the way we show each other love would reflect that. Not so much! I have already told you how much he likes to bring home food and snacks for me. There is something else I can always say about him…I wake up every day getting loved, I go to bed every night getting loved, just about every day of our lives he gets something just for me. It may be as simple as my favorite drink, a magazine, a measuring tape, a new tool (I say that my love for tools makes me an awesome wife too!). Some days it is much bigger but there is always something. I am a server. I love making sure he has a fresh drink, cleaning out his truck, making sure his shirts are steamed / ironed so he can just pick one out of the closet and not think about it.

SSSOOOO the big question was what is our Love Language? His is Physical Touch. Duh! He is a guy! No…Seriously, it is things like holding hands riding in the Truck, taking a second while I am in the middle of making dinner and giving him a hug, sometimes when he is talking to me I will just take his face in my hands and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. I guess these little seconds really mean a lot to him.

Only someone who is that awesome wears a red suit to his wedding!

Okay… What about me? Mine is Quality Time. Not like, we have to spend every second together or I want you to go to the craft store with me or sit beside me while I talk to my sisters for an hour and comment about their “New life altering moment”. But the kind of Quality Time that we say…Let’s sneak away in the middle of the day and go watch a movie together unexpectedly, let’s go to Home Depot and pick out a new plant for the front porch together, It’s storming outside so let’s pick out a television series on Netflix or On Demand and watch it ALL day long. That kind of Quality Time.

Quality Time!

This is what I call Quality Time! Big Lobsters and good friends!

You should take the time to find out exactly what your Love Languages are. It might just be totally opposite from what you thought it was. Or even better that you have the same Love Language!

So what could be so secret about any of this? That it doesn’t take a lot of money or tons of time to make every day special. Have fun, laugh often and dance in the rain!

 

Calm Before The Storm

This, my dear, is the calm before the storm! It is not always pleasant to think about, just like a bad storm on the horizon, it is brewing.

I have a motto I live by that says “Everyone is allowed their day”. YOU, my Dear, are aloud to wake up and be the biggest..biatchachos! You get the entire day! Gripe, fuss, stomp your feet! This day is YOURS! But that is it! One day and move on! There is going to be the day that your Big Daddy wakes up grouchy as EVER! For NO apparent reason or for many reasons. You need to have a plan. Trust me when I say a plan now is necessary to survive this storm and still remain friends.

One sure way to prepare for this storm is to think about anything that can be used against you. “That sliding glass door stays so dirty, why don’t you ever clean it? Have you called Blah Blah Blah? I have asked you all week to take care of it!” or my ALL time favorite “Why don’t we have any ????” Now, you know, he doesn’t EVER eat or use the ????? and has prob just decided right this minute that he wants it OR has gone through EVERYTHING in the house and that is the ONLY thing you don’t have. The beauty of this type of preparation is that these are most likely the very same things that are bothering you too. If you play your cards right you won’t even have to take care of what ever it is. He is in a good mood now, Sweetly suggest or ask him to take care of it and it will be one less thing to worry about when you are hunkering down for the storm.

How did this get here?!?! That is one sexy donkey lobster Big Daddy has there!

Don’t be silly and think I am suggesting you walk around on egg shells thinking the bottom is going to fall out at any moment! What I am saying is that a bit of prep now will make your life much easier. What is my secret? If he just happens to be in the middle of a rant, is having trouble gathering his emotional control, do just one thing….The Flash!

That’s right! Just stand there, straight faced and lift your shirt! Let your milkshake bring this boy to the yard! Men are painfully predictable, use this to your advantage. He may blink a bit and even shake his head but he will have forgotten what ever it is that is bothering him. Sometimes we need to be “shaken” out of our moods and a wee bit of pleasant distraction will do the trick.

Little things like making him breakfast to go if he is running late, an envelope with a pair of your cute panties inside and a “there is more where this came from” note on the seat of his car, coming home to a clean house, pow wow with the kids and let them know Big Daddy had a hard day so let’s behave or we will sell you to gypsies talk (if this works remember to use it for your day next time!) will help the storm to blow over.

I want you to remember that when you take care of him, you take care of yourself too. Set a little table up just for the two of you. Drinks, snacks, maybe a fun little picture set out. Take a break before dinner, you needed one anyhow. Think of something funny to tell him from your day or just listen. Sometimes we need to just “say what we have to say” and it is over with.

If all else fails….Make him the best darn meal of his life, follow it up with a freakin’ awesome dessert and send him to bed fat and happy! Tomorrow will be a better day!

Sour patch kids cupcakes are perfect to bring ….who am I kidding? Cupcakes are just plain PERFECT!

My prayers are with you girl!

 

So Easy Even A Monkey Can Do It!

Listen to me now, even if you have never listened to me before! When your man speaks these words GRAB THE CAMERA! Right then and there!

Big Daddy bought a satellite dish for his motor home. When he brought it home, opened it up and spread it all over my counter I politely asked if I could help him put it together. “No!, It’s so easy even a monkey could do it!” was his response. I just stood there, looking at him in amazement thinking “GRAB THE CAMERA! QUICK!” I didn’t, of course (because I certainly would have shared something that awesome!). I did, however, keep an eye on the situation. When he got to the point they all get to when they don’t read the directions and can’t proceed further, I asked “Why don’t you look at the directions?”  AND what do you think he said? “WHAT! Don’t you think I would! There aren’t any!” Huh? I can’t imagine a part that costs that much NOT having directions! SOOOO, as soon as he left the room I picked up the top of the box, removed the directions and put them on my desk. Two days later he was still working on the silly thing. (It was a “jacked up” hot mess!) I slipped out, fixed the brace (cuz I read the directions and knew how to do it) and up it went, in just a couple of minutes!!!!

Now, I know there are lots of “wifely” tips in my little story but that isn’t what this is about! Keep your camera handy, that’s all I’m saying! You’ll get your chance!

Yes! That is MY Big Daddy harassing some poor, defensive, tourist he doesn’t know! Monkey Boy!

“Date Night”!!!!

I am the SEXIEST wife EVEAH! At least that is what I tell myself. Big Daddy usually just laughs and tells me I am silly. It takes silly, RIGHT! Wait! Can silly still be sexy? Oh Geez! I am confused!

I was joking with my girlfriend about it being “Date Night” tonight and she asked where we were going. “Oh no, we don’t actually go anywhere” was my response. We both just looked at each other with smirks on our faces, clearly not thinking of the same thing. I was wondering why Big Daddy and I don’t actually go anywhere for “Date Night” and I am sure she was wondering what they would do if they didn’t actually go anywhere for “Date Night”. Hmmm…things to ponder.

Now Men, I have a secret to share with you that I promise your Mama ain’t going to tell you! Do not, under any circumstances go to your wife after she has been cleaning house all day, running around crazy, has her arms elbow deep in dish water and announce that tonight is “Date Night”!  She is NOT thinking any sexy thoughts! Not then! Not later! and probably NOT tomorrow either!  DO however, Do exactly what Big Daddy did this morning!!! We got up early, had coffee on the back porch and before I got up to start my very busy day offered to buff and rub lotion on my feet. Now, before you go thinking that sounds girly, I have to tell you that Big Daddy is the  MANLIEST MAN EVER! The payoff…When he came to me after cleaning house ALL day, running around crazy, me with my arms elbow deep in dish water and whispered in my ear that it is “Date Night” all I could think was…Ooohh what am I going to wear.

Ladies, I have two secrets to share with you. when it comes to “Date Night” you have two options.While I love “Date Night” as much as the next gal, some days you just aren’t feeling it.

Now, you can do one of two things. Option 1 ~ Make him the MOST wonderful meal of his life! Start off with a little homemade jalapeno poppers (I will share the recipe with you on another post coming soon), make a great salad with lots of onions, serve him a hot, cheesy, bubbly homemade lasagna, garlic bread. Send him away from the table with a drink and “allow” him to watch television for a bit while you clean up (he needs to rest a few for the next step), Slip away into the bedroom and fold down the bed / fluff the pillows and spritz with the sleep spray from Bath and Body works (great stuff), put his jammies out for his shower and suggest he go ahead and get his shower. Afterwards, wait till he is good and settled in watching tv again and offer him a dish of warm, cinnamony, sugary, buttered monkey bread or ooey gooey cookies or hot cherry pie with vanilla ice cream. You offer to take the dishes and put them away, take your time getting your shower, enjoy a bit of dessert and I PROMISE that man will be sawing logs before you can make it to the bed. Either that or be SSSOOOO miserably full he isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except how wonderful you are for taking such good care of him. AND who wants to be kissing on someone with oniony, garlicy breath anyhow.  I know, you love me!

Option 2 ~  Your Big Daddy is going to come to you and announce that tonight is “Date Night”. You are going to think “WHAT?!?! I am standing here with my arms elbow deep in freakin’ dish water, stinkin’ from cleaning house all day, my hair is a mess, I have tomato sauce on my jammy shirt that I haven’t had a chance to change out of from this morning and you want WHAT!!!! That boy has a screw loose!” This is what you should do… Give him a sly little smile and tell him you were thinking the SAME thing! Throw together your favorite light meal, make everyone help clean the kitchen while you slip away and put on some music in the bedroom , put the kiddos to bed early, offer to shower with him and make him wash every last bit of the day off you, after your shower ask him to get you a glass of water to drink while you throw back the covers of the bed , spritz the pillows with that cologne of his you can’t get enough of, dress in something that makes you feel sexy and be waiting when he returns. Trust me on this when I say that you’d be surprised how quick it is before you are relaxing, reading your favorite blog while that man is raiding the kitchen for something to snack on because he was SSSOOO excited to hear you agree that he just had a salad for dinner. NO onions included! I know, you love me!

Besides, he DID buff and lotion up your feet this morning and you LOVED it! Let me know how it goes!

Happy Dating!