Living With A Difficult Husband

Poster Child for "Living with a difficult Husband who is crazy fun"

Poster Child for “Living with a difficult Husband who is crazy fun” Just for the record that is NOT a stain on his shirt but a rain drop. It was raining that day. 

Not everyone has the perfect husband. What’s that you say? You know! You say you’re living with a difficult husband? Now I want you to understand the difference between a difficult husband and a DIFFICULT husband!

While having a discussion with your husband, you are telling him something SO heartfelt. Does he stop you and say “I could really care less about what you are saying”?  Sometimes that happens to me. I would say that is a difficult husband.

In “my former life as a wife” aka my last marriage there were unspeakable things that happened. One evening my 4 little children and I returned home to find our other vehicle parked in the middle of the yard packed with weird junk and a cross on the steering wheel and no driver. After putting the children to bed “he” made an appearance on the back porch fully visible through my sliding glass doors wild eyed, dirty and crazy on drugs. I was scared out of my whits. I will spare you every minute of this tragic story but there were knives held to throats, followed by wild police searches through the house and yard then 10 minutes after his arrest constant calling on the phone. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN WHEN HE IS IN POLICE CUSTODY?!?! This, I would say, is a DIFFICULT husband and I wished I could say that was the only situation and that it had ended there.

What is my BIG secret for surviving a DIFFICULT husband? As a wife, thankfully we have the best resources available to us for comfort, advice and real life experiences…Each other! It is important we share with our closest girlfriends, mothers, sisters (NOT YOUR CO-WORKERS OR CASUAL FRIENDS) and ask their advice, listen to their aspect of the situation, how do they do it? Not every woman is as wonderful as a wife as you are so beware that not all advice is good advice.

Okay…This is even more of a Secret…Your Father! He is also the BEST resource for advice on certain situations. Don’t go asking him about “Date Night” because he will run from the house screaming….Sorry that I know this from personal experience. Sorry Daddy!

I want to tell you something that is going to FREAK out the most respectful Mothers and Grandmothers. Now keep an open mind here….DO NOT, for one second, think that you are doing your children or even yourself a service by staying with a DIFFICULT husband. When I lived in the situation I did, with my precious little children, I stayed because I thought it was the right thing. I didn’t want my children to think parents are disposable. I had very good intentions that caused long and lasting damage to the children and myself. YOU DO NOT DESERVE to be treated that way. YOUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN DESERVE better. Your family WILL support your decision! THERE ARE places to go and people who will help you! CALL ME (904) 451-1445! I WILL help you! DON’T STAY!

Now…living with a difficult husband can be fun and exciting! My Big Daddy is not perfect (don’t tell him that because I tell him everyday that he is!) but I wake up everyday getting loved on and go to bed everyday getting loved on. He is very generous and kind and handsome and EXCITING! Which proves my point that there is life after LIFE!

After sharing my Sunday Morning post with Big Daddy he says he wants to start a blog dedicated to Living With A Difficult Wife. HA HA! I told him he doesn’t know what “difficult” is but I could show him! LOL!

Happy Sunday! Don’t make the bed today and enjoy the day with YOUR husband!


Woman Can NOT Live By Man ALoNe!

These guys are real stiffs!

These guys are real stiffs!

I am constantly telling Big Daddy “You NEVER listen to what I am telling you!” I am not the only one. I hear my girlfriends telling me and each other the same thing. After having one of our my frustrating conversations where I was saying something VERY IMPORTANT about how I wish I had this really cute outfit to wear and Big Daddy’s response was something about the STUPID Nascar race that was on I, once again, said “You NEVER listen to what I am telling you!”. He gave me the MOST important bit of information he could have ever said…”It’s because you have SO much to  say”. You know what? At that very moment I got it!

We are women, we have a LOT of things to say to one another AND every wee bit of it IS important! Life altering, you might say. For this reason, we need each other. It starts when we are little girls. We share secrets with our cats, our dolls, our sisters. As teenagers, we share our secrets with our BFF, our teachers, our coaches. As women we share our secrets with our girlfriends, our mothers….our daughters. As maturing women we have decided that anyone and everyone should hear what we have to say. People in line at the grocery store, the doctors office, the bozo in the car next to us in stopped traffic who mistakenly looked our way.

As a young wife, my Nana told me something that ALL Mothers / Grandmothers should tell their daughters…”Never tell anyone, other than your girlfriend, when you and your husband are having a rough time”. Why? you ask. Because two days after your “fight” with Big Daddy, you are back in love with him (because he properly made things right). All that your co-workers / casual friends / the lady in the doctors office  remember is what a jerk he was.

I am THE most fortunate girlfriend ever! MY girlfriends are married to the same man I am. They completely understand how I feel and what I go through. They also know how incredibly in love I am with Big Daddy and how important he is to me. Thankfully, they feel the same about their Big Lugs as I do!

Seriously! Who marries these men? Oh Wait! We do!

Seriously! Who marries these men? Oh Wait! We do!

Our conversations go something like this “Umm hmmm girl, I know what you mean!”, “Oh NO he did nnnt!”, “WHAT! Seems like he’d learn from the last time!”, “I like your new ring!”. See, most stories have a happy ending girlfriend!

If I could share one secret with you today, other than surround yourself with great girlfriends who are like minded, it would be “Just do what you want to do”.  Think about that for a second……

Start small. You have been telling Big Daddy you need a new outfit. As your girlfriend, I would say “Don’t ask him, make it about him”. Save your money, find what you want on sale and after your shower one night just come out of the bathroom dressed in the new outfit you got for him. My sister wanted a new fridge. She complained for years about that stupid fridge (that worked perfectly, by the way). If you want something like that that bad, you should have it…at least that is what I have always thought. My suggestion to her was…Just do it! Ask around… Do any of your friends need a nice fridge for their garage or to replace theirs? Are there any friends who have the type of fridge you want for sale?  No, start saving for the amount it would cost for the new fridge, find it on sale, sell yours, have it replaced one day before Big Daddy got home. Tell him how you could put all the desserts you made him in it or how much money it is going to save you in electricity.  It works this way for pretty much anything. A trip you want to take, Date Night Out, Jewelry, Shoes, you name it.

Trust me when I say “They don’t want to think about it”, How proud of you do you think he will be if he comes home and it is taken care of? You saved how much? How amazing are you for saving that much or arranging it without taking away from anything else. Need some ideas….Just ask your girlfriend!