Stupid Stuff He Said This Week…

I have always told Big Daddy, “What men say and what women hear are two different things”. After an incredibly stupid statement, I decided to keep track of a few key “stupid stuff” this week just to give you an example.

What he said was : “You can’t even dress this bathroom up and hang a towel on the bar”.

What I heard was : You never bother to clean this bathroom, even something as simple as hanging a towel on the bar!”

What he meant was : Allie Sparkles (our spunky 24 year old daughter with special needs) keeps her bathroom dirty and it doesn’t even get the towels put out to dress it up. (I know this because I asked him)

Allie Sparkles, she shines...she is a lot of work

Allie Sparkles, she shines…she is a lot of work

What was actually happening : Big Daddy NEVER goes on Allie Sparkles’ side of the house and doesn’t see that she ALWAYS keeps it neat and tidy. I just happen to be doing a deep cleaning and had things strewn all over the counter and the towels in the floor along with the dirty clothes from her bedroom.

What was going to happen : Dripping with sweat and the smells of cleaner, I stood up with toilet brush in hand ready to strike and give him the “What for!!!”

What he should have said (according to all my close girlfriends, I know…because I asked!) : “Wow! You sure are working hard in here, I bet if Allie Sparkles kept her bathroom straight and dressed it up you wouldn’t have to work SO hard.” 

How did it end ? I stood up with toilet brush in hand, dripping with sweat, smelling like bathroom cleaner with toothpaste in my hair and smiled. I TOLD HIM… “Honey, it never looks like this, she keeps it pretty neat. I am just doing a bit of deep cleaning, didn’t you see me doing this to our bathroom a few minutes ago?!?!” Smile and wink!

Sometimes they need that! Oh the things I could have done with that toilet brush!

Seriously, I think Big Daddy has a knack for these things…There is more!

What he said was : “Hey, That is only a 52″ screen”

What I heard was : “You are SO fat that I can’t even see the television screen”

What was actually happening : I was getting dressed for the day IN A REALLY CUTE DRESS, He was laying down, watching the stupid news and wasn’t listening to what I was telling him (something important I am sure). So, I ran over, jumped on the bed and sat on top of him. He just leaned over to look around me to continue watching television.

What was going to happen : I have two major rules, NEVER call me fat or old! I was in a perfect position to clobber him!

What he should have said : “You sure look cute this morning, what can I do for you today?”

We all know where the cake is going anyhow!

We all know where the cake is going anyhow!

How did it end ? I smooched him up and said “I was trying to tell you something important, do you want me to wait here while you finish your show or do you want to hear it now?” Wouldn’t you know, he let me tell him what was SO important and he got to finish his program!

Just this morning there was yet another statement I could consider “stupid stuff”.

What he said was : “You always make your job harder, Why didn’t you just steam my shirts along with yours”.

Now, does this look like the type of man who NEVER gets his shirts steamed? Think NOT!

Now, does this look like the type of man who NEVER gets his shirts steamed? Think NOT!

What I heard was : “You are not very smart, why couldn’t you have steamed all the shirts together”.

What was actually happening : I wake up very early and try to get all my quiet “chores” done before everyone wakes up. I love my morning times alone! This morning I was up at 5:30am folding clothes and steaming them. (Huge tip BTW, steam/iron clothes as soon as they are out of the dryer, saves you tons of time later and it is actually easier). He got up a bit later and didn’t see what I had done. I steamed all of the clothes together but was putting mine away first. He DIDN’T see his shirts and ASSUMED that they weren’t done, which NEVER happens!

What was going to happen : It took two milliseconds for me to come up with a mental scenario where I took all of his shirts, threw them out the back door, let the dogs trample them and hung them up in the closet…dirty!

What he should have said : “I have a shirt I picked out to wear today, if you don’t get to mine I don’t mind doing them later” (even if he had NO intention of doing them! The comment alone would warrant me wanting to do them after such a sweet statement.)

How did it end ? After a little chuckle to myself I smiled and said ” Darling, Do you think I would do my shirts without thinking of you first” (Cheesy I know! But I think it got my point across in a way that he understood). Besides, I did feel much better after the mental pic of him seeing his shirts dirty, hanging in the closet. Hee! Hee! Note : if you are from the south you would know that “Darling” is not always used in a sweet, adoring way even if it sounds that way.

I know you don’t have all day for me to list EVERYTHING Big Daddy said this week that I considered to be listed under the “stupid stuff” category so I will just list the highlights. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up!

He said “What did you do with my shoes?” I was thinking… Well, after I wore them today I put them…. WHAT?

He asked “What’s for dinner tonight? I said “I planned for us to have Lasagna, NO? Okay, what about Taco Salad…NO? Would you like Burgers? hhhmmmm NO? Meatloaf?!?! What do you want to have?” and what do you think he said ? “I don’t know, figure something out”. SERIOUSLY!

My all time favorite …… “Just how much weight have you gained?” THESE ARE FIGHTING WORDS AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED!!!!!

What is the secret? Consider the source, They can’t help it AND when in doubt just smile and wink. It is far easier to recover from that than an hour fighting about what you think he said! Trust me!

Love the man! I do!

I bet, if you tried “real” hard you could come up with something too…..

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